You see, the first thing I thought of as both a female and a human with a conscience, was how inappropriately placed Reed's scathing words were in his "film review". It is highly improper to rip this woman apart for her weight in what is supposed to be a review of a film - but if you're going to do so, you better be a gorgeous fuck with a perfect body and face, or you're just begging for a review that may sound something like the following:
Rex Reed. Let's start with the name. Rex. Like, tyrannosaurus rex which means you're a dinosaur which means you're old and likely senile which explains your fucked up review which means you shouldn't work as a film critic anymore which means you should be locked up in a nursing home which means less exercise which means no hope to get rid of the multiple chins you currently have hanging from your ugly mug which means you probably smell bad in all those neck folds which would mean you don't shower very well which means you're dirty which means you really have no place making fun of anyone especially because you have neck fat which means you're a fat fat water rat which means you're gross which means you should spend less time pointing out flaws in others and more time correcting the numerous flaws you have which means you have many flaws which means let's start with your eyebrows which means you look like that evil blue muppet which means we should hate you which means we already do which means now we have even more reasons to hate you which means you should just quit your job which means you can't which means you're probably going broke buying vodka which means you smell like neck cheese and vodka which means no one wants you which means I guess I could understand your sadism which means you're a sadist which means you hate women because you're a sadist which means you are lonely which means you're pathetic because you are bashing a woman about her weight which means you're an ugly fucker which means oh obviously you are an ugly fucker which means go ahead and google him, you'll see how ugly he is which means I'm right and you're wrong which means you should seriously consider shutting the fuck up. Then let's take a jab for a moment, at the editor - where the hell were you, asshole? No one has control over this douchebag's review for even a moment, in order to say "take this part out because it's fucked up"? Ok back to Rex. I looked at some pictures of you, Rex. And I must say, people in unfit houses shouldn't throw stones - or bottles of booze - because from what I can tell of that dark tint of red that colors your nose, you should stop drinking on the job. You mean, old, classless drunk.
Rex Reed has broken more blood vessels in his nose, than Melissa McCarthy has broken chairs, so what's his problem? Thirsty I guess. Now I would never, under other circumstances, make fun of someone with an alcohol problem. But, this asshole deserves it. You're a drunk, Rex Reed. You're a stereotypical, red-nosed, fat slobby drunk. And your review sucked - in fact, I'm going to make sure I see this movie to support Melissa McCarthy if for no other reason but because you're an irrelevant prick, and Melissa's on top of her game.
Fuck you Rex Reed, you drunk drunk drunk fuck.